For over a week now we've had a new rhythm to this bit of the day: I have given up trying to fight bonzo into a nap in the morning and instead am doing my day's grocery shopping quite early, timed so we leave sainsburys as close as possible to 3 hours after he's woken for the day. I swear, for at least seven days in a row this has worked beautifully, he nods off without a murmur on the way home, stays asleep when we arrive home, and I get to sit in my (newly cleared) living room, drink some coffee, catch up on some emails, and be right by him for when he wakes. When I was writing my last post I was still feeling despairing but a few days further on, I've gained some hope again about these little oases of time to myself, even if I'm not doing a mite useful with them apart from self-renewing. And I'm back round the circle, feeling good about being consumed by him, feeling sure that every moment of investment is worth it, that this intense parenting is right for him, and that I might just make it out of the other side in one piece.
(of course, you can't know for sure that it's me writing this rather than a sneaky interloper determined to access the exciting world under the keyboard)
Documenting the happy bits is great, and that's a lovely photo ;)
ReplyDelete(On a slightly bizarre note - what are you doing grocery shopping every day?! Is this some strange ritual/diet/lifestyle thing that I haven't heard of? I go when the cupboards are bare, I hate shopping. Maybe I'm a weirdo...)
Please keep writing about both sides of this journey - seriously. It's so valuable for other mothers to know that we're not alone, and that seemingly endless rough patches don't signal poor parenting. They do pass!
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, Annabelle has only recently started, sort of, sleeping "through the night" sometimes. It still takes at least 45 minutes to an hour of parental attention for her to fall asleep, and afterward she may still need help to settle back in once or twice, but on most night's she's good till early morning. She'll be two in two weeks. It takes time, but they get there in their own way, when they're ready.
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job of following your son's lead, and I'm sure it will pay off in the end. It's definitely taxing, and can seem endless at times, but I'm glad you've found a good routine that has allowed you to carve out a bit of time for yourself ... until something else changes ;)